My Epic New Do

Because I own a Mac it can take a photo collage with 4 pics at a time. I thought about just choosing one for y'all to see but then I thought, why choose only one when you can see 4 pics of my head instead?!? :)

The Image of Perfection

Coming home from church today I felt a little discouraged. After doing some serious soul searching, I came to conclude that my biggest flaw in life is often the fixation on the image of perfection. I seem to think that in order for me to be happy, I need to have or do particular things. For example,

I would be happy if I had around $100,000 in my bank account

I would be happy if I were married

I would be happy if I had a closet full of trendy clothes

I would be happy if I had a couple of bambinos (aka babies) running around

I would be happy if my homework was done

I would be happy if I were finished with school and teaching

I would be happy if everybody in my family was healthy

I would be happy if I were thinner and a little more healthy

I would be happy if I were like that person that I see who looks like they are perfect and happy

Now its not to say that I am depressed right now in my life or anything like that, its more or less a realization that I look to external things to find happiness. But the reality is that my happiest times of life were when I was living simply. When I was doing things like reading my scriptures, exercising, and praying daily. And its not even that I was just doing these things mediocrity, I was budgeting my time around these essentials. I found that when I followed this lifestyle, hard times are easy and they become my happiest times. So my new goal is to simplify and prioritize my life to put the meaningful things first and the external things last.

Below is a picture from Taiwan when I got stuck running in a rain storm. It represents one of the happiest times of my life. The time when I would wake up early in the morning and go running on the beautiful tropical trails, followed by meditation and scripture reading, and ending in prayers to Heavenly Father. Best way to start a day ever. I love this picture because it reminds me of that time of my life when I was strong physically and spiritually. My goal, to get back to that place in my life again.

I once read, "life is not about weathering the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Today, February 27th, 2011, I dedicate my life to learning how to dance in the rain.

Loves

I was totally on the news

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

It's official, I'm almost a grown up

I am FINALLY entering into the world of adulthood as today I interviewed for a teaching job at Payson Jr. High.

I don't particularly want to teach in Payson, nor at a Jr. High, but it was still my first interview and the first possibility to a teaching career.

Now that it is actually happening, I find myself filled with butterflies and fear about the future. This thing that I have worked so hard for is almost in my reach. C r A z Y ! ! !

Dating Advice from my Dentist

The other day I broke my tooth while flossing. Yes that's right, I was doing something that was supposed to prevent damage and what happens instead? I break part of my tooth. Great... Anyway I finally got in to see my dentist (female mind you) and sat on the stupid chair with my head back and mouth wide open as the conversation turns to my love life. It goes something like this:

Dentist - So how old are you?

Me - 24 (of course my comments are all said with her hand in my mouth)

Dentist - Really? And you aren't married?

Me awkwardly - No

Dentist - Wow, I got married when I was 18

Me - cool

Dentist- So you aren't dating anybody?

Me - Uh, no

Dentist - You know, I hear that a lot of people are online dating now in days. Maybe you should check out something like eHarmony sometime.

Me - maybe

And then the conversation got awkwardly quiet after that.

All I have to say is that she was pretty lucky that her hand was in my mouth or else she would have heard a lot more then "maybe" at the end. Because seriously, how annoying people. Just because I live in Utah doesn't mean I have to get married right out of high school.

*Sigh*

And because I am trying to liven my blog up a little I decided to provide you a picture of dental floss. Because I ultimately place all of the blame for this mishap on it.

The End

i write poems on my saturday mornings

I saw the best friend of a guy that I might have dated before I went to Taiwan at a party last night. I say might have dated because looking back, he probably thought we were dating and I just thought he was my really good friend. I have a tendency to think that I am just friends with guys and then one day they kiss me and I'm like, whoa, what just happened there? It's annoying. And actually, this awkward kissing experience happened with a different guy but it sort of helps me put other dating experiences into context a little bit better. Anyway, seeing this one guys best friend made me have some emotions and memories about him that I didn't even know existed within me.

I wrote a poem about it so that maybe at least I could organize my thoughts in some form. And publish them so that they are complete. Its like throwing something in the trash once you publish. Because then its finalized, it is what it is, and life goes on once again. And now my poem:

A Poem to Articulate Something?

Here I sit.

But is here where I should sit.

Or ought it be over there

I used to sit discontent,

playing musical chairs to find the best fit

But now I look back and think,

twas my seat so comfortless there?

I see those who sit content

in the seats that I had rejected

and now I reflect

And to Kelsy, thank you for the fun memories of walks to the gas station to get sodas in the middle of the night, putting together 5000 piece puzzles of Jesus, craft nights with Jessica, dance dance vinyl monkey, rock band until 6 in the morning, boating trips, going to Jazz games, hanging up mirrors for me from Ikea, movies up the canyon, Italian food in Provo, etc. I'm happy that you are going to law school back east and making something with those brains of yours. And also that you have a beautiful new girlfriend that you seem to be madly in love with.

And despite the reflective post, I really am happy things happen the way they do. I think.