The Image of Perfection

Coming home from church today I felt a little discouraged. After doing some serious soul searching, I came to conclude that my biggest flaw in life is often the fixation on the image of perfection. I seem to think that in order for me to be happy, I need to have or do particular things. For example,

I would be happy if I had around $100,000 in my bank account

I would be happy if I were married

I would be happy if I had a closet full of trendy clothes

I would be happy if I had a couple of bambinos (aka babies) running around

I would be happy if my homework was done

I would be happy if I were finished with school and teaching

I would be happy if everybody in my family was healthy

I would be happy if I were thinner and a little more healthy

I would be happy if I were like that person that I see who looks like they are perfect and happy

Now its not to say that I am depressed right now in my life or anything like that, its more or less a realization that I look to external things to find happiness. But the reality is that my happiest times of life were when I was living simply. When I was doing things like reading my scriptures, exercising, and praying daily. And its not even that I was just doing these things mediocrity, I was budgeting my time around these essentials. I found that when I followed this lifestyle, hard times are easy and they become my happiest times. So my new goal is to simplify and prioritize my life to put the meaningful things first and the external things last.

Below is a picture from Taiwan when I got stuck running in a rain storm. It represents one of the happiest times of my life. The time when I would wake up early in the morning and go running on the beautiful tropical trails, followed by meditation and scripture reading, and ending in prayers to Heavenly Father. Best way to start a day ever. I love this picture because it reminds me of that time of my life when I was strong physically and spiritually. My goal, to get back to that place in my life again.

I once read, "life is not about weathering the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Today, February 27th, 2011, I dedicate my life to learning how to dance in the rain.

Loves